Family. Important to how we turn out. Family. If we choose God, we may get to become grafts into a good family and learn a lot of good things. Here’s my tribute to my husband’s family for how good it has been to belong to this clan.
Has it really been 43 years since I walked down the aisle at Westbrae Bible Church in Berkeley, California to marry the sweet, good man, Sanvus Yuen? That was June 26, 1965 and I was 19 years old. I had graduated from high school just two years earlier.
I remember the first time San brought me home to meet Mom and Pop. Mom believed in making a guest welcome by offering lots of hospitality refreshment. I wasn’t much of an eater then – a mere 95 pounds and a contented lightweight, and after eating a couple of items, I was satisfied. But Mom must have thought that if one treat didn’t please, another one might, because she kept them coming!
She was always smiling, kind, welcoming and conversational when I was with her, and I decided I would learn the family dialect so I could understand and communicate better. I progressed, but within three years the Lord called Mom home, and then Pop two years later.
I remember the engagement party at Mom and Pop’s house, too. All the food that the girls had laid out on the pretty dining table! I also remember how Jack was so delighted that his brother had found a girl that he kept hugging me. My family wasn’t into hugging so at first it scared me, and I began hiding when I’d see Jack. After a while, of course, he stopped hugging me. I also remember the family introducing Jack as a “doctor.” One day I heard he was sick, and that he’d seen a physician. “But why?” I asked, “He’s a doctor.” Whoever it was I said that to, looked at me strangely and when I explained that the family had told me that he was “Dr. Jack Yuen,” it finally dawned that no one had ever told me what kind of doctorate he had! We had a good laugh over that.
I remember the night before the wedding when I was washing up for bed at Mel’s beautiful home in Oakland. I had just washed my face, and looked up into the expansive mirror and lo, I saw a ZIT! Oh no! Not now, not the night before my wedding! I wailed out to Mel and she came rushing in. I was in tears and holding my cheek to hide the angry, inflamed volcano of a pus pocket (actually, it was probably a teensy red spot). Mel persuaded me to let her see it, and reached into the cupboard and handed me a bottle of alcohol and a cotton ball, and said to wipe it and it would be alright by tomorrow. I didn’t really believe it would work, but it did. The next morning the zit was gone!
Mel was immensely loving, generous, and tender hearted. In all the years I knew her, she was consistently giving, forgiving and kind, in good humor and enjoyed life. San and I had a wonderful relationship with her and I will bless her memory always. We were always concerned that she knew the Lord as her Savior, and a couple of times we approached her about it. The last time we spoke of it with her she told us with all truthfulness, “I’ve always believed in Jesus Christ as my Savior.” I believe she spoke from her heart.
The Yuens were a celebratory family, and regularly met for family holiday meals. I remember one day when the family was getting a supper ready at Chalice’s house, and Mel was making a salad. She asked me to go to the pantry and get some spices to make a salad dressing. I had no idea what went into a salad dressing since we ate Chinese almost exclusively at my home of origin, and if we had had dressing, it would have been French and from a bottle. I figured if it tasted good, the spice might be appropriate for dressing. I reached for cinnamon and some assortment of inappropriate spices. The strange combination raised a laugh from Mel and quite a fuss and humor from the other girls and I was totally embarrassed from tip to toe.
San and I had a close bond to Anne and Herbert, too. We talked on the phone, shared cards and letters and saw them whenever we could. We enjoyed visiting with them during summer vacation several times. They worked at their very successful clothing store in Lemon Grove all the time, of course, but they managed to visit with us after work, too. I remember visiting the store a couple of times and buying Ship ‘n Shore items. Ship ‘n Shore was a General Mills clothing subsidiary at one time. I also remember Anne’s cooking style. The nutritional value of food drove Anne’s culinary decisions. We often had greens, soy bean, meat and rice and fresh fruit when we were with them. Anne taught us about bringing nutrition along when you are “out and about” to keep up your strength. She used to carry sunflower seeds and raisins in a plastic bag to snack from. Now that San and I are older, we appreciate her example more than ever.
We attended church with her when we visited, too. I remember the Presbyterian church where I heard her associate pastor preach a fine sermon one Sunday. She said that he stuck close to the Word of God. That may have been the church where part of the congregation felt compelled to assert their faith in the inerrancy of Scripture and later formed a new church cell. Anne went with them.
I also remember Herbert when we went anywhere to shop. He was not at all shy about bargaining with the sales people in any store! It was both embarrassing and amazing — and funny! But bargaining works, and Herbert showed us the hutzpah.
I remember visiting Tijuana, Mexico with the Lowe family, too. We went into import stores with amazing merchandise at equally amazing prices. Chinese screens and furniture and designer clothes were among the things that caught my attention. At Maxim’s, we girls bought a bunch of blouses designed by Oleg Cassini, who created Jacqueline Kennedy’s signature look during her “Camelot” years. They were great looking, but polyester, the favorite fabric for clothes then.
I remember the many happy times with Bernie and Ed and their kids at their home in Carmichael. We spent Christmas with them several times, but visits weren’t limited to special occasions. Once we got to meet a couple of Indian boys who were staying during the summer with them. Another time, we did a Mandarin Pot meal together. When I think of Bernie, I think of intelligence, good works, drive, generosity, love, and a good husband and nice, bright kids.
I have a lot of warm memories about the wonderful people whose family I married into—I think of Bert’s intelligence, kindness, mercy and wisdom; Chalice’s hospitality, love for her children, and strength; and Ella’s sincerity toward God’s Word, gentleness and faithfulness. Then of course, there is Pete, who was faithful toward his parents and strong for his family, and who consistently modeled the attributes of the Lord in word and deed; and Marge, who is pure, good and gentle, a virtuous woman, full of faith. Armonita, a beautiful name, and belonging to a woman who worked out her sensitive nature in wrought precious metals and gemstones to leave a legacy of beauty behind.
I would say that the Yuen family’s hallmark is love and generosity and being doers. A family ought to be loyal and warm of heart toward one another, but not all families are so homogeneous. I can say the Yuens have been. I think the quality of Mom and Pop’s headship is responsible for the goodness of this family. I believe that when children know they are loved and are molded by good values, that they will generally reflect the character of their home throughout their adult lives and pass its values on to their children. Mom and Pop’s love for the Lord Jesus Christ and their constancy of heart toward their children, worthy modeling and teaching, and not to mention their prayers for them, resulted in people capable of kindness and warmth toward others, decency of treatment of others, faith to believe in themselves and in their dreams, and courage to apply themselves in work for success. The crown of their life’s work in regard to their children was that they introduced them to God’s dear Son, Jesus Christ, the only One capable of ensuring their safety in eternity and who would give them enduring love, guidance and protection as they negotiated their way through the seas, shoals, rocks, storms and disappointments of life.